Indie Director Bruce LaBruce Pokes Fun at the Fashion World and Infidelity with The Affairs of Lidia

Sandro (Drew Dixon), Piero (Sean Ford), and Lidia (Skye Blue) confront each other in a scene from Bruce LaBruce's 'The Affairs of Lidia' where infidelities are revealed.

Bruce LaBruce returns with a satirical Romantic Comedy filled with silly dialog, big ideas, and a thoroughly enjoyable Soundtrack

"Gay, straight, I don't know what it matters anymore." - Piero (Sean Ford)

"What matters is... Fidelity." - Lidia (Skye Blue)

Fidelity (definition from Merriam-Webster's online Dictionary)
Noun

1. a) The quality or state of being faithful

    b) Accuracy in details: Exactness

Canadian Director Bruce LaBruce, who helmed It's Not the Pornographer that is Perverse... (2018) and Saint-Narcisse (2020), among other Art films made a good choice when he decided to use the song I'm Over You by Vomit Heat as the theme for his newest feature film, The Affairs of Lidia. The song's lyrics about being done with an unfaithful partner and the catchy hook serve as a counterpoint to the film's fluffy plot. The last minute and a half of the track is just haunting. It brings to mind the feeling of standing alone in a downpour outside a bar on a hot Summer night after last call, contemplating the world.

I'm Over You is a song about someone washing his hands of a failed relationship. It serves as an emotional undercurrent to the goings on in LaBruce's pornographic satire of the Fashion world. "I'm hiding from you... I was lying to you. Usually dishonesty isn't something that I like to deal with... I'm over you," croons Nils Herzogenrath. The lyrics resonate with me.

In The Affairs of Lidia the titular Lidia (Skye Blue), a Model, suspects her Boxer husband Michelangelo (Markus Kage) of being unfaithful. She discreetly follows him one morning and discovers he is having an affair with Sandro (Drew Dixon) a Fashion Photographer. To get revenge Lidia first seduces Sandro, and then strikes up a friendship with Piero (Sean Ford), Sandro's boyfriend, who runs a boutique clothing shop. The dialog that prefaces this entry is from Lidia and Piero's first meeting.

This particular exchange is the film's biggest joke. Only two of the characters in LaBruce's bedroom farce could be described as faithful. The Fashion industry itself is built on superficiality, since clothing projects an image of how we want to be seen by the world. This image changes from season to season, and from one year to another to keep profits flowing. 

So it's the exact opposite of the qualities most attractive in a human being - C squared. This was once described to me as being, "Constant and Consistent." Interacting with the best people (in my experience) is like going to a favourite Restaurant - you know what to expect, and have those expectations met consistently. In other words, the person is reliable and standing on solid foundations.

Which is not the case with LaBruce's characters in The Affairs of Lidia. This is what makes the movie such an effective erotic comedy. All of the lies and infidelities eventually come to a head in a dinner party hosted by Lidia at her loft.

Because The Affairs of Lidia is at its' heart an Art Porn film, acting and dialog are of secondary importance, though still worth mentioning. To call the acting wooden would be generous. It's truly awful on so many levels. In fact, the cast's acting is so bad that it's good.

My favourite scene is a Fashion shoot where Sandro is photographing Xenia (Pascale Drevillon), a transsexual Model. While having Xenia pose Sandro uses a large painted black box as a prop. When asking Xenia to imagine various scenarios he says, "(The box) is your lover. It's the best box you've ever had." And then a moment later, imagining a different scenario, he says, "The box is telling you a secret. What's it telling you my dear?" In a third scenario: "You want to walk the box. How are you going to walk the box?" The scene's acting and dialog revel in their absurdity while playfully mocking the idea of Fashion.

A word about LaBruce's choice of cast to end this entry. While many are familiar names in the adult film industry, the casting of American Sean Ford stands out. Over the years, he has taken on the role of intellectual Porn Star. Back in 2020 he was featured in a wonderful interview in Interview magazine where he discussed the importance of intimacy.

Ford was also the Model for British Artist Stuart Sandford's statue work Adlocutio, which is based on 3D scans of Ford. The piece is rather tongue-in-cheek because the word adlocutio comes from Latin, and refers to an address from an Emperor or General to his assembled troops. The figure's outstretched right hand is meant to signal power and authority, as well as divinity and devotion. In Sandford's piece the naked Ford is taking a selfie, presumably to post on Social Media. To me, Sean Ford is the most interesting figure in contemporary pop culture.

LaBruce puts Ford in all sorts of adorable outfits throughout The Affairs of Lidia. He looks especially cute while wearing a white button up shirt with earrings and a black French Painter's hat. His lack of acting ability and the monotone delivery of his lines isn't really a problem.

I give The Affairs of Lidia 4 out of 5 stars. It's an entertaining escape if you enjoy romantic comedies and bad acting. Sit back, take in the sights, and let the soundtrack linger in your mind.

Toronto the Protestant ? Valentine's Day in the Ice Box

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Yes, February 14, that day every year when couples are expected to exchange overpriced, tacky Hallmark cards to profess their love. Chocolates are also big. But even the most amateur coffee table sociologist will tell you that Valentine's Day is really about getting laid.

With that said, I turn to two of Toronto's alternative publications for their takes on V-Day. The current issue of NOW Magazine on the stands is the Love & Sex issue. In 'Toronto the Cold' by Joshua Errett, the writer digs for answers about why Hogtown is so harsh when it comes to finding other horny sluts who want it as much as you do. Errett interviews Justin Parfitt, CEO of dating company FastLife, who puts his finger on the psychological baggage that weighs heavy on Torontonians. "We put up barriers that seem to come from previous generations... there's a sense of reserve here that simply doesn't exist elsewhere," Parfitt told NOW. Maybe we've taken our mothers' advice not to talk to strangers to heart.

What barriers from previous generations would those be ? Shawn Hitchins nails them in his cover story for the current Fab Magazine, 'Are Toronto gays heartless ?' Hitchins writes, "Toronto has white Protestant roots, a work-based culture and an identity that disseminates into the smaller communities and municipalities that feed its' workforce." My own experiences after living in Toronto for 6 years confirm this. A shared sense of reserve and uptight morals dominates this city's social environs.

Last night I asked an acquaintance if he'd ever cruised at a certain Starbucks on Church Street. His answer: "I'm not that kind of girl." This is admittedly a very general example. But I've seen so many similar instances over the years I've been here that the sum of my impressions have formed a nearly complete portrait of the city's psychology when it comes to sex and relationships.

That said, I don't mean it's impossible to meet people or form lasting relationships in Toronto. But there's certainly a high level of difficulty involved. This isn't to say that everyone can, or should, get along. But we can certainly make things easier by finding a way, collectively, to ditch this useless religious baggage. There's no point in being burdened in the 21st century. We should realize by now that nothing is true and everything is permitted, to borrow Hassan-i Sabbah's famous quote.

On an unrelated topic, the 2010 Olympic Games opened in Vancouver last night. I'm looking forward to catching some of the Figure Skating competitions. I'm curious to see what U.S. competitor Johnny Weir will perform. You can watch him performing to Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' here to get an idea of how talented and tight the man's routines are. And here's a short interview clip where Weir shows his thoughtfulness and intelligence.